Author: Inaida Sou
Translator: Sick Kei of ChocoCats
A special thank you to Anon, Impostor, and Sleeplessyakult for the Ko-fi! Here is the long awaited chapter 47!!
● DAY 0
(This is Makoto’s POV)
The day I would kill Mai. Both parents left home early. Mai started studying with me, restless because she put medicine in my tea. She had never used anything like that to surprise me before. I thought it was strange. I could have drunk anything that Mai brewed, but today I couldn’t. Please read this at ChocoCats.
I took a sip of the switched tea. Mai was observing me closely as I drank the tea.
“You know, Mai…”
“Have you ever thought that you’re glad I’m your brother?”
I had never thought I was glad that Mai was my younger sister. I had never thought it was good to have Mai by my side.
I yearned for, loved, and desired her. But I felt sorry for Mai, who had to bear my feelings. Even though I felt happy when she was by my side, I couldn’t say it was “good”.
I thought it was pitiful. I sympathized with her. I thought that Mai was terribly pitiful, loved and sacrificed by a monster like me and would lose everything today.
But I couldn’t stop.
I wanted Mai. I wanted every part of her. It would never end as long as I lived. I had fallen in love with her. I loved her. That was why I had no choice but to kill her. I couldn’t just quietly love her and wish for her happiness. It was not something I was capable of. Please read this at ChocoCats.
“What’s the matter? All of sudden…”
“No, I just think that Mai is pitiful.”
Mai looked bewildered at my words. She would probably only understand them when I took action against her. Only then, would she finally understand my true intentions.
Knowing that I loved Mai, I would end her life. The scene that became more vivid the more I imagined it made my body go cold, rather than sending shivers down my spine.
“You’re the most pitiful person in the world, Mai.”
Mai was pitiful. She was going to become the most pitiful girl in the world from now on. It was all because of me. She was a pitiful Mai who would be taken advantage of and stripped of everything, even though she had done nothing wrong, just because she was loved by a monster. Oh, poor Mai, poor Mai, poor Mai.
“Hey, Onii-chan… You know, I’m…”
Mai looked at me as if trying to convey something with a determined expression. The medicine must have started to take effect, as her body began to feel numb. She might lose consciousness anytime soon now. Goodbye, Mai. See you again. I will fix you so that you will love me. If that’s not possible let’s die, let’s die together. Otherwise—
“Mai. I can’t change after all. You can resent me for the rest of your life.”
Mai’s eyes reflected me until the last moment as if she was reaching out to me, as if she wanted me. Before her consciousness completely faded, I placed my lips on Mai’s forehead.
After a while, I put the handcuffs I had prepared on Mai’s wrists. I chained her up and connected her to my room. With this, Mai wouldn’t be able to escape unless she severed her own wrists or I handed over the key. Please read this at ChocoCats.
I let out a sigh of relief and then turned my attention to Mai, who was fast asleep.
I gently stroked her cheek as she slept soundly. Her skin was so soft that it seemed like it could tear easily. I recalled looking at her as she lay in the hospital bed. I never thought things would turn out like this.
I never thought I would develop an obsession with a person.
I wondered what would happen if I had pushed her into the pond.
Mai was an insignificant existence, a mere component to reinforce my sociability. I didn’t care if she died tomorrow. And yet…
Even if I murmured, Mai won’t wake up. If I had been normal, would the outcome have been different? Would I have been able to make Mai happy, to love and be loved by her?
I used to think that I could never truly apologize to anyone from the bottom of my heart. But now, I feel truly sorry for what I did to Mai. My heart ached. And from now on, it would be even more hurtful for Mai. But even so, I couldn’t stop myself, I knew I was just a hopeless and terrible person.
“I wouldn’t even mind if you killed me, Mai.”
Rather, I hoped she would kill me now. Before I ended up killing her. I wanted her to remember me for the rest of her life, etched into her body and soul. Instead of parting words, I hugged Mai for the last time. Her body was warm, and maybe it rubbed off on me, as my eyes grew hot with tears.
T/N: dang onions!!!
“I’m sorry, Mai. For loving you.”
The words I murmured couldn’t be heard by my beloved one. There wouldn’t be any turning back now. I couldn’t hope for a happy future anymore. Please read this at ChocoCats.
T/N: Hello, I’m sorry I couldn’t update last week, it was a national holiday in my country and even though I’m not celebrating, my friends got their days off and I got too excited and spent my days playing with my friends ehehe. Also, I want to say Happy Eid Mubarak to anyone who celebrates it, it was last week, sorry for saying it late ;w;/
I’m actually a bit disappointed that Day 0 is so short, but well, it would be better this way I think because too much might spoil the tension and fun (I guess?)
what am I saying tho?
Anyway, see you in the next chapter, and have a great day!