Author: Inaida Sou
Translator: Sluggish Kei of ChocoCats
Proofreader: Cinnamon-san

Thank you to Anon for the Ko-fi!

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● 20 DAYS AGO

(This is Makoto’s POV)

I modified my bookshelf and added a locker after I realised my feelings for Mai. So I can store some items for my plan when I needed them… like gifts for her. Please read this at ChocoCats.

But what was now locked away in the bookshelf were chains, handcuffs, and sleeping drugs.

They were tools to put Mai to sleep and chain her to this room. I had planned to execute this during summer vacation, but my parents suddenly went on a two-night, three-day trip, and the plan was accelerated.

Mai and I would be alone. It was a perfect opportunity. Nothing could intervene against us.

In those three days, I would kidnap her by force, break her, and make her love me.

I was anxious, but it has already been proven that creating pseudo-love was possible by pushing people to their limits. It may be categorized as a symptom, not an effect, but I couldn’t question the means.

I wondered if the Mai I would recreate would be the one I love, but it was better than losing her completely. That time… just like when she was hit by a truck, rather than letting her disappear far away, it was better to break her and hold onto her broken remains to fill this emptiness.

T/N: Ugh, I hate to admit but I find this side of Makoto a bit hopelessly romantic and it melts me.

Even though I decided on this, my heart never settled until the very end. Even though I should have fit the pieces of the puzzle together firmly, an uncomfortable feeling would come up, floating awkwardly.

To bury the uncertain emotions inside of me, I stayed by Mai’s side. But every time I saw Mai, my heart would become more and more disturbed.

Every time I saw her, I wanted to hug her. I wanted her to accept my love. I became so thirsty that I couldn’t help but think of wanting to cling to Mai.

While yearning for a sweet illusion, I had been dreaming of killing Mai, up until two days before my parents left on summer vacation. 

In the dream, Mai was chained up and rejecting me, so I tightened my grip around her neck. Her eyes, which had been shining, began to cloud over, and her limbs, which had been moving so well, drooped down lifelessly. I stabbed Mai, who was frightened by me, on her stomach, and blood flowed out, staining the floor a darker red than Mai’s lips.

Then I woke up in the morning with trembling arms. All that remained in my heart was regret and a prayer that I didn’t want to kill her. 

T/N: ;w; dang Makoto…

There was a time when I was deeply attracted to life and death. I used to think it was okay for Mai to die too. But not anymore. Even so, if I couldn’t have her heart, I feel like I could even kill her body. But I didn’t want to kill her. I didn’t want to, but if things continued like this, I would definitely end up murdering her, because the feeling of wanting to kill Mai still lingers. Please read this at ChocoCats.

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T/N: Hello, this chapter is pretty short so I can immediately translate it and update.

This chapter… is a bit dark, idk but when I was translating this, my heart beats loudly, like, whoa Makoto is sure deep, he’s a complex character, and his description of killing Mai is really clear and made me shiver. I’m amazed by how complex he is.

Anyway, see you in the next chapter, and have a great day.

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