Author: Inaida Sou
Translator: Kei of ChocoCats
Proofreader: Cinnamon

● 126 DAYS AGO

(This is Makoto’s POV)

On Wednesday night, the mother went to take care of the grandfather at his house, and the father was at work. So, every night I had dinner early and took a bath, and then it was time to study with Mai.

“For History, is there any easy method to memorize it all?”

“No, but the questions are patterned, so I think it’s more efficient to just memorize the questions’ answers than trying to remember everything poorly.”

Mai, who sat across the desk from me, grumbled with an unpleasant face. Her hair was slightly wet, and her cheeks were slightly flushed because she was out of the bath.

Did I feel a desire toward an existence called ‘sister’ because I was abnormal? Was it because I saw her as a woman? I couldn’t even tell the difference, and I still didn’t know what was in Mai that was attractive to me.

“Since there are some points that are related to classic literature, if it’s hard, shall we start with classic literature instead of the History introduction?”

“Then…”

I took out a collection of classic literature copies from the textbook that Mai had placed beside me. I peeked at her face, but I didn’t think anything in particular about it.

Generally speaking, she seemed to have lovely features. The people around me seemed to say so. But I could only distinguish individuals by assigning them identification numbers, so I didn’t think it was a human’s face that I was attracted to. Even if I imagined her face, crushed, the obsession remains the same.

Then, did I feel any benefit from this existence? That must be my feelings. Those must be my thoughts. However, when I tried to find something that led to my attachment and desire for Mai, I immediately got bewildered and unable to comprehend it.

“How I should put it, isn’t it useless to have a reference book for History if it’s so boring?”

“No, it’s just Mai. It’s just because you don’t really like History, right?”

“Yeah… it’s more fun to do Math or Science… I wonder if they could replace the History exam with Home Economics instead…”

By the way, Mai was still eccentric. One day, she suddenly raised a pillar of fire with a frying pan at home, did something that even she found meaningless, and wore a food costume.

For a moment I thought that this desire I had for Mai was due to her eccentricity, but she still caught my eye even when she was just spending time normally.

Was I looking for a sexual connection with Mai? Just like human instinct?

“Onii-chan, how did you memorize all of this History subject?”

“All I could do was practice repeatedly. It’s like how Mai practices Math until you’re able to solve the problem, you have to repeat it until you eventually memorize it.”

With that said, I turned over the reference book to see if there were any good questions for practice. At that moment, something tingly ran down my fingertips. When I saw blood dripping from a single red line, I realized that the paper had been gradually cutting my finger.

“Uwah, you got cut! That’s terrible!”

Mai shouted.

When did I get injured? I’d never fallen down, and I’d never seen blood bleed from my skin other than when I stabbed myself with a needle back then for an experiment.

“Why are you in a daze, Onii-chan!? It’s bleeding, you know!” 

Before I knew it, Mai was already in front of me with a first aid kit in her hand. She wiped my finger with a tissue and applied a band-aid.

Her face looked like she was sad and in pain.

Mai looked like it was her who got hurt, even though she didn’t. How she could make such a face even though she wasn’t in pain, I really couldn’t understand. I couldn’t hold such feelings even if Mai cut her finger.

“Pain, pain, go away.”

Mai smiled. There was no point in smiling at an injury.

There was no way a wound would heal faster if she smiled at it. Such a useless and meaningless act. It was just an act of self-satisfaction. I couldn’t understand.

Even so, I liked it.

Thus, the emotions that had been nestling for a long time in my stomach were beautifully named. It was bright and full of colours.

I loved Mai. Maybe this feeling was at the core of my obsession and desire towards her. I vaguely noticed this.

◇

T/N: Hello, first of all, I’m sorry this is MTL. I found some sites has been stealing my translation and took profit from it. So I decided to put this dummy first to test how they took my post and edit this chapter with real translation tomorrow. So please check it again tomorrow, and I hope you guys can understand. I’m very sorry for the convenience.

Tbh with you, this issue made me really unmotivated to translate. I had several times wishing to drop this series and can’t concentrate translating. But I didn’t, and I won’t, and I hope I can still translate this till the end!! So please, if you are reading this, please read this at ChocoCats site only! Thank you very much!

T/N: (27/05/22 update) Hello again! As promised, this is the real translation, I hope you guys enjoy it! Turns out the other sites are still able to take my translation, and I give up. :’) I will still deliver quality translation to you guys despite whatever they do. I won’t care anymore (or I hope so).

And thank you for all of your support and understanding, I’m very sorry I had to post such an MTL post. I promised I won’t do it again!

or maybe I will on April’s fool, who knows lol

And I saw a suggestion about disabling right-click (I confuse it at first as disabling all clicks and ctrl+anykey), first of all, thank you for the suggestion! I think it will be worth trying. But I can’t promise it will really prevent that. The reason is, if it’s a bot, they will not use the select-copy-paste method, they will use some kind of program to take all the text on the blog body, so even if I disable it, they will still steal (or that’s what I read about it after some research). And secondly, as a reader, I often highlighted some words to find their meaning on google (by right-click and ‘search google’). I feel that if I disable the right-click, it will be inconvenient for some non-English readers like me. (or maybe it’s just me who did that??) But anyway! I hope you guys are fine with my decision!

Thank you once again and see you in the next chapter!

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